"Your dog needs a heavy hand" - mistakes I've made with my highly anxious and reactive German Shepherd

There are so many things I wish I had done differently.

A family in Ukraine found Lucky by the river when she was only 3 days old. A few months later, her town was hit by 7 missile strikes before she went on a long journey to a foreign country. To her, the world had always been dangerous and uncertain. At 6 month old, she was a foster dog brought to me, to a stranger who believed her reactivity needed an immediate fix with tools and force. That stranger was me.

I was fooled by the misconception that “all GSDs need a heavy hand”. I exposed Lucky to too much from day one, always thinking about starting training as soon and as hard as possible so she’d be ready for her new home. We visited a trainer just a week after she arrived. Since then, we’ve met 4 other trainers (before meeting our current one), all advising me to be strict, a strong leader, use certain tools, punish her, etc., because that’s what GSDs need.

I also tried not to get too attached, assuming she’d be adopted in a month or two. I saw her as a project, with so much to work on in such a short time. But I was doing it all wrong. Instead of long, intensive training sessions, lengthy walks, and lots of desensitisation, what I should have done was give her a break, more understanding, and all the love she deserved.

I agree that behavioural issues often stem from breed and genetics. But it’s not just about that; it’s about what the dog has been through, why she’s acting this way, and the specific training and care she needs, in order to thrive.

I really wish I had known better. I wish I had been more understanding, and known that “quick fix is not the best fix”. Yes, we need to be strong enough to maintain control and ensure safety, but we should also prioritise trust over training.

Fast forward 1.5 years later, with the help of our amazing trainer, Lucky has made remarkable progress, all achieved without causing her any pain or instilling additional fear. 😌