Year-End Reflections

Today didn’t start off great. I woke up late, and getting Lucky ready for our walk felt like a chore. Construction noise was already blasting outside, and to top it off, Lucky decided to poop in the hallway near the entrance. I cleaned it up quickly, but not fast enough to avoid a neighbor walking in. The walk didn’t get any better—Lucky was pulling, sticking to walls, and completely out of sync with me. I thought about cutting it short but pushed on to the park, where we both managed to calm down a little. Even then, on the way home, she lunged at a scooter—something I usually handle easily, but not today. By the time we got back, I was emotionally drained and exhausted.

The rest of the day felt heavy. It wasn’t just the rough morning, and no, it’s not “that time of the month.” It’s more like all the emotions I’ve been pushing aside finally caught up with me.

We’re now in the second half of December, a time when some people feel excitement, while others reflect on the year gone by. I started 2024 with high hopes and expectations for myself and Lucky: launching my business, quitting my 9-to-5, training consistently with Lucky, and much more. But as I reflect, I can’t help but feel like I fell short. Projects for my shop are months behind schedule, and I’ve had to take up tutoring English and even consider going back to my old job - consulting. I still struggle with Lucky’s training and haven’t been able to take her to a café or walk with friends without her “monster mode” kicking in.

Growing up in an Asian household and being surrounded by ambitious people, I’ve always felt the pressure to achieve—to measure my worth by external milestones like a prestigious career, financial success, or reputation. But alongside that, I’ve created my own definition of success: pursuing what I love, being true to myself, and helping others.

This year, though, has really reminded me that I can only find happiness by staying true to myself. My family and friends ultimately want me to be happy, even if their definitions of happiness differ from mine. And I’ve realized that my happiness is mine to define. While I set high (maybe even unrealistic) goals for 2024, aiming high still brought me further than I often give myself credit for.

I did accomplish a lot this year: I wrote a book, helped Lucky become more guest-friendly, traveled, spent a lot more quality time with loved ones, and including Lucky more in my social life. (I also hit the gym more often, and completed races I hadn’t even planned on doing.) Most importantly, I deepened my understanding of myself and built a stronger relationship with who I am. That’s more than I could have asked for.

To anyone scrolling through social media, seeing others’ highlights, and feeling like they haven’t done enough: You are enough. You are amazing. Just showing up for yourself, staying true to who you are, and not giving up—whether it’s on your pup, your dreams, or simply making it through a tough day—already means the world.