Dealing with Separation Anxiety

Lucky used to bark nonstop when left alone. Even food couldn’t distract her. Addressing her separation anxiety was a long journey.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a secret quick fix for separation anxiety. How I tackled it was mainly through basic (and admittedly boring) desensitization, starting with short separations and gradually increasing the time I was away. I’d simulate leaving by performing simple actions like putting on my shoes and touching the door handle, then immediately returning without actually leaving, pretending like nothing happened. Over time, we progressed to opening and closing the door without stepping out, then taking a step out and quickly returning to treat her. Eventually, we reached the point where I could walk out and close the door without any drama.

Back then, we were living on the ground floor, which had its challenges, but it also allowed me to simulate leaving the building. I could even hear her on our street (we were living in the back courtyard, so you can imagine how loud Lucky can bark 🥲) While it was impossible to prevent her from barking, I just waited for her to stop before returning to her - and she could bark for a long time 🙈 Initially, I’d wait for less than 5 seconds after she stopped barking before opening the door again, gradually increasing the waiting duration. And that sort of did the trick—I never went back while she barked. She learned this and stopped barking sooner over time.

Honestly, I’ve never quite managed to get Lucky to completely stop barking without providing her with something to do at home. I’ve come to realize that, despite knowing that barking isn’t productive, she simply needs to express her emotions knowing that I’m leaving.

Now that she is used to being alone, I simply provide something for her to do right before I leave. I had to find activities that she enjoys and feels confident doing independently: hiding treats all over our apartment (though it initially took her a few weeks to build confidence and liking in it) and serving her meals in a slow feeder bowl. Over time, the idea of leaving Lucky before her meals has become a routine she’s grown accustomed to.

I consider myself fortunate that I've been able to manage Lucky's separation anxiety “relatively easily”, especially since she was already okay as long as she wasn't alone, but with someone she knows. Also, her symptoms weren't as severe as urinating, defecating, or destructive behavior (although the barking was already a big issue for me). I'm aware that some dogs experience much more severe separation anxiety, both in terms of symptoms and attachment to their guardian, and may require medication. In my opinion, for most dogs, separation anxiety exists to some extent, depending on the situation. I know that Lucky will be anxious in unfamiliar places by herself. In those situations, a crate could come in handy. However, I'm unsure if she will ever reach that point of comfort in the crate 🫠

To add: When I began leaving Lucky alone for longer periods, creating a safe and cozy environment at home helped. I closed the curtains, dimmed the lights, played relaxing dog TV on YouTube, and made the couch / her dog bed comfortable to lie on. The music can also help drown out external noises that might stress out your dog.