Admitting my imperfections in training my anxious and reactive dog

Let’s face it, trying to do the right things all the time with our dogs is both impossible and exhausting.

There are times when I simply let Lucky bark at home because I’m too drained to interrupt my work, get up, leash her, and start training. It’s tiresome constantly correcting her “bad behaviors.” Sometimes, I allow her to pull on the leash because I lack the energy or time to stop every few steps until she walks calmly again. Other times, my reactions to her behavior outside are extremely sluggish, or I make the wrong decisions that trigger her reactions. Occasionally, I can get overly emotional and unintentionally transfer additional negative energy to Lucky. And yes, there are (many) instances when I give her food while I’m cooking or eating because she’s begging. I often fail to reward her when she’s doing nothing, being relaxed, or behaving well.

Just the other day, I decided to pick up Lucky’s poop, thinking I could do it quickly while a dog approached us. But by the time I finished, Lucky was already reacting, her leash too loose, and it took me too long to get her under control. I felt so embarrassed for not stopping her sooner. I cried all the way home, feeling ashamed.

I often I beat myself up over these mistakes and inactions (more in the past than now), thinking if only I could manage everything—her barking, her reactivity, her leash pulling, and more, she would’ve already become the “perfect” dog.

But then comes the reminder: We’re only human. We can’t always be quick-witted, especially on an early morning or after a long day. Professional trainers spend an hour per session with each dog. We, on the other hand, live with our dogs 24/7. It’s important to recognize that striving for perfection can be both unrealistic and damaging to our well-being, and consequently, to that of our pups as well.