I can be mean, moody, and impatient - I hate that about myself on days like this

Last night I had some drinks with friends and woke up hungover, feeling like a mess. (I didn’t go wild-I’ve just gotten worse at handling alcohol 🫠)

After waking up, I decided to take Lucky out with Daniel and Lima, as they were heading home after staying with us for two weeks 🥺

Things went downhill fast: Lucky started barking nonstop the moment I grabbed the leash, then pooped in the hallway 😩 I panicked, ran back to grab cleaning supplies, while Daniel took the dogs outside. When I was cleaning, a neighbor came and I had to explain everything even though I was already frustrated. (He was super kind and there was no problem.)

I caught up with Daniel and the dogs outside, and Lucky went full panic-reactive mode over everything. We barely made it five steps out of the building before Daniel suggested we part ways—and I really appreciated that. He knows me well enough to see when I’m about to push through something even when it’s clearly not helping anyone.

After that, Lucky didn’t want to walk at all, so I ended up dragging her for a bit. Eventually—just 3min later, though it felt like forever—we reached our quiet path. Once we both calmed down, the walk actually became peaceful and enjoyable for the next 30 minutes or so (clip 5-6). However, Lucky got anxious again as soon as we were heading back home (clip 1-4). I was already so emotionally drained, it was awful.

I’m sharing this because I know how hard it is when you have an anxious pup—and you feel the constant pressure to stay calm, be patient, do the right things, take it slow. I didn’t sleep well, I was hungover—that’s on me. And I probably transferred all that bad energy to Lucky. Even if I hadn’t, I didn’t do the best job at helping her feel safe today. It is stressful, and I felt bad for being mean to her—getting mad at her for being scared, for not engaging, for needing me when I didn’t have it in me to give. We both felt disconnected today, when what we really needed was connection.

I have these kinds of bad days more often than I’d like—days when I’m just moody and anxious. Especially now, with all the pressure of job hunting and trying to stay confident. Constantly telling myself I’m doing great and everything’s going to be okay can be SO exhausting. And when you have a dog who needs that same kind of reassurance? It doubles the weight.

We ended up spending the rest of the day eating, sleeping, and taking things super slow. And you know what? Just feeling more rested already has me looking forward to tomorrow’s walk. Because I know I’ll do better—and Lucky will too. I just need to make sure we both get some good sleep and start the day with a better mood 😌